Dear Architects, I am sick of your shit.

Once, a long time ago in the days of yore, I had a friend who was studying architecture to become, presumably, an architect.
This friend introduced me to other friends, who were also studying architecture. Then these friends had other friends who were architects - real architects doing real architecture like designing luxury condos that look a lot like glass dildos. And these real architects knew other real architects and now the only people I know are architects. And they all design glass dildos that I will never work or live in and serve only to obstruct my view of New Jersey.

Do not get me wrong, architects. I like you as a person. I think you are nice, smell good most of the time, and I like your glasses. You have crazy hair, and if you are lucky, most of it is on your head. But I do not care about architecture. It is true. This is what I do care about:

* burritos
* hedgehogs
* coffee

As you can see, architecture is not on the list. I believe that architecture falls somewhere between toenail fungus and invasive colonoscopy in the list of things that interest me.

Perhaps if you didn’t talk about it so much, I would be more interested. When you point to a glass cylinder and say proudly, hey my office designed that, I giggle and say it looks like a bong. You turn your head in disgust and shame. You think, obviously she does not understand. What does she know? She is just a writer. She is no architect. She respects vowels, not glass cocks. And then you say now I am designing a lifestyle center, and I ask what is that, and you say it is a place that offers goods and services and retail opportunities and I say you mean like a mall and you say no. It is a lifestyle center. I say it sounds like a mall. I am from the Valley, bitch. I know malls.

Architects, I will not lie, you confuse me. You work sixty, eighty hours a week and yet you are always poor. Why aren’t you buying me a drink? Where is your bounty of riches? Maybe you spent it on merlot. Maybe you spent it on hookers and blow. I cannot be sure. It is a mystery. I will leave that to the scientists to figure out.

Architects love to discuss how much sleep they have gotten. One will say how he was at the studio until five in the morning, only to return again two hours later. Then another will say, oh that is nothing. I haven’t slept in a week. And then another will say, guess what, I have never slept ever. My dear architects, the measure of how hard you’ve worked and how much you’ve accomplished is not related to the number of hours you have not slept. Have you heard of Rem Koolhaas? He is a famous architect. I know this because you tell me he is a famous architect. I hear that Rem Koolhaas is always sleeping. He is, I presume, sleeping right now. And I hear he gets shit done. And I also hear that in a stunning move, he is making a building that looks not like a glass cock, but like a concrete vagina. When you sleep more, you get vagina. You can all take a lesson from Rem Koolhaas.

Life is hard for me, please understand. Architects are an important part of my existence. They call me at eleven at night and say they just got off work, am I hungry? Listen, it is practically midnight. I ate hours ago. So long ago that, in fact, I am hungry again. So yes, I will go. Then I will go and there will be other architects talking about AutoCAD shortcuts and something about electric panels and can you believe that is all I did today, what a drag. I look around the table at the poor, tired, and hungry, and think to myself, I have but only one bullet left in the gun. Who will I choose?

I have a friend who is a doctor. He gives me drugs. I enjoy them. I have a friend who is a lawyer. He helped me sue my landlord. My architect friends have given me nothing. No drugs, no medical advice, and they don’t know how to spell subpoena. One architect friend figured out that my apartment was one hundred and eighty seven square feet. That was nice. Thanks for that.

I suppose one could ask what someone like me brings to architects like yourselves. I bring cheer. I yell at architects when they start talking about architecture. I force them to discuss far more interesting topics, like turkey eggs. Why do we eat chicken eggs, but not turkey eggs? They are bigger. And people really like turkey. See? I am not afraid to ask the tough questions.

So, dear architects, I will stick around, for only a little while. I hope that one day some of you will become doctors and lawyers or will figure out my taxes. And we will laugh at the days when you spent the entire evening talking about some European you’ve never met who designed a building you will never see because you are too busy working on something that will never get built. But even if that day doesn’t arrive, give me a call anyway, I am free.

Yours truly,
Annie Choi

feli agrees on it very much so.

Merdeka! Merdeka! Mer .. I'm hungry.

Awsome, hungry anyone? Merdeka Lunch Buffet will fill you in with loads food, sales and much more. Come join us at MPH, next to annexe at 11.30am till 1.30am. We are pleased to invite anyone who is interested in the buffet. Tickets are RM15 each, eat all you want :) Just drop a comment if your interested to buy. Our ticket outlets are everywhere.. walking about.

before the sun sets..

Sem 6, 2007, group photo

We will take a group photo in college soon...so be prepared for a incoming photo shoot...

Halia Boy

women + architecture ;)

In 1875 Mary L. Page became the first woman to graduate with a degree in architecture. Although a lot has changed since then, there is still a significant disproportion of women to men in the professional environment. The progress is obvious in the educational world, where 1 out of 3 architecture students are currently female. However, in 2003 the National Architecture Accreditation Board (NAAB) revealed that only 13% of registered architects are women. Many statistics suggest that although more women are receiving architecture degrees, there are still gender barriers to within the profession.


credit: http://www.architorturefilm.com/info.htm#generalNotes


our species seem scarce in the architecture field ~.~


lihjiunn

Namaste India~

Group Jump Shot (JS) : Amber Fort, Jaipur :)

Photo courtesy of Ashley

- an indianized junihaoni

Architecture meets Posers

Memoirs of akinabalu shoe

courtesy of wan.

:)

xiane

Creative or utter iLousy?

Earlier this month Omniyat Properties previewed their planned 230 apartment development, ‘The Pad’. Models of the building, to be designed to look like an iPod MP3 player, were on display at Dubai’s International Property Show 0n 3-5 April.

As an intelligent building the Pad will demonstrate prime specialisms of Omniyat Properties ultimate parent, Almasa Holdings, namely IT and real estate. Also known as ‘iPad’ the building will include lofts, studios and one and two-bedroom apartments. According to Bloomberg (25th April), apartments will cost up to AED 9m ($2.5m). The smallest units start at 581 sq. feet.
Starting prices according to Dubai based realtors GoWealthy.com are as follows:
Studio US$343,6881 Bedroom US$362,3722 Bedroom US$901,158

Currently two-bedroom apartments in the more conventional West Wharf development (also in the Business Bay area) are being sold for around US$550,000. This is a development by Corporate Finance House scheduled for completion about a year ahead of the Pad.
Futuristic intelligent features of the Pad will include the following:
• Rotating living and dinning rooms so as to enjoy views on either side of the waterfront building

• Virtual panoramas from other parts of the world projecting on windows (iReality)• Video-conferencing in the dinning room

• Reactive lighting able to respond to your mood or even to telephone calls (iAmbiance)

• Bathroom health monitoring equipment

The purpose of room rotation is aesthetic rather than the space-saving device developed by Luigi Colani in Germany in recent years. The 360 degree views referred to in the Omniyat Property press release are not clearly reflected in all of the floor plans but the feature will certainly allow for the flexible use of the accommodation. Some apartments appear from floor plans to also include rotating double beds.

At the time of its launch Omniyat made clear that it hopes to incorporate robotic features into its developments such as robot vacuum cleaning but that seems to be some way in the future.

Facilities for residents will include a retail area, parking, the iClub, swimming deck, media Jacuzzi, underwater concert, media deck chairs, aerobics section, lap pool, half basketball court, running track, barbeque & gathering Area.

My iTake : I think iTs purely iWeird. iT may sound iHi-tech but to me, iT has nil iArchitectural value.

Steve Jobs: Let's see whether iTunes can go iPhysical here.

A disturbed iJunihaoni

Dynamic Architecture

MUST WATCH!
Very cool






adeloke